I feel bad about my neck

Seriously, I do feel bad about my neck, as well as my 11's, marionette lines, saggy boobs and muffin top. Getting old sucks.

Last year I hosted my book club to discuss I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. I had already read the book several years before, but felt it was time for a refresher, especially after I saw this YouTube video: 

Light bulb moment: Wouldn’t it be fun to ask everyone to bring a scarf, discuss the book and then practice scarf tying? Yes, it was fun. And, several glasses of prosecco made it even more the merrier.

For those of you who haven’t read the book, it’s a witty commentary on women and aging. Nora doesn’t mince words. She cuts right to the chase. That’s what I love most about her. Examples:
  • I feel bad about my neck.
  • I’m sorry to report that I have a mustache.
  • I would like to be in shape. Every time I get into shape, something breaks.
  • I hate that I need reading glasses. 
One section of the book lists “What I wish I’d known.” Some that resonated with me:
  • If the shoe doesn’t fit in the shoe store, it’s never going to fit.
  • The reason you’re waking up in the middle of the night is the second glass of wine. 

  • Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.
  • At the age of 55 you will get a saggy roll just above your waist even if you are painfully thin. This saggy roll … will be especially visible from the back and will force you to reevaluate half the clothes in your closet, especially the white shirts. 
Yikes! I’ve had this roll since after the birth of my first child. I hope the A-line continues to pop in and out of vogue.

So here’s what I wish I had known: Slathering your body with baby oil and using a foil-covered record album cover to reflect sun onto your face would accelerate the aging process exponentially and possibly cause skin cancer. Good news: Sunscreen has come a long way since I was a foolish adolescent. Bad news: The damage has already been done.

What do you wish you had known? 

Where's your favorite place to buy scarves? Boden for me, of course!

p.s. Along the same lines, Girls Lena Dunham recently signed a $3.7 million contract with Random House for her memoir Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned. Can’t wait! Is Lena the "floating generation's" Nora?

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