May I suggest...

I'm not quite sure what I've been doing lately, but it's taking all my time. In hopes of getting some good reading suggestions from you all for my spring break trip to Tahoe and San Francisco, here's what I've been reading over the past several months.

In no particular order of preference:

The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. Hitchcock-like psychological thriller from the author who penned several trashy romance novels under another name. A page turner that can be read in one or two sittings. For the first time ever, my entire book club read the book. Dreamworks has already bought movie rights. Interviews with Hawkins on NPR and CBS. If you've already read it, please weigh in on who you think might be cast for the film. Hawkins said she can see Michelle Williams as Megan. Rachel is a tough one.

All the Light We Cannot See by Anthony Doerr. Included in the New York Times Ten Best Books of 2014. I really enjoyed the book, but wasn't as blown away as many others are.

The Signature of All Things by Elizabeth Gilbert. Not having been a huge fan of her memoir Eat, Pray, Love, I loved this book. Really long by my standards -- 512 pages. But well written and painstakingly researched. It's worth plodding through.

Tell the Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Blunt. Good story and very well written. This is probably my my favorite recent read.

Brain on Fire: My Month of Madness by New York Post reporter Susannah Cahalan. My favorite in the non fiction category. Riveting memoir that I could not put down. Probably not a good choice for hypochondriacs. Listen to her interview on NPR too. 

For all of you Tiny Beautiful Things fans, you can now hear Carol Strayed and Steve Almond giving advice on NPR. If something's been eating away at you, this is your chance to get some lovin' from Sugar.

I've already preordered my copy of Go Set a Watchman Harper Lee's prequel that's actually a sequel to To Kill a Mockingbird -- one of my all time favorite books. Any chance it's as good? We shall see.

What have you got for me?

p.s. If you have any good restaurant recommendations for San Francisco, please share them here. Thanks!

May I suggest...

Busy, busy, busy getting back into the swing of things with our new school schedule. Promise I have some riveting posts coming up soon. In the meantime, I thought I'd share some of my favorite summer reads. 

1) Where'd You Go, Bernadette, by Maria Semple. Perhaps my fave read of the summer, this domestic drama made me laugh out load. In a recent New York Times interview, Semple names The Corrections by Jonathan Franzen her favorite book of all times. A former TV writer, ( "Arrested Development") she says "Mad Men" is some of the best writing in television today. I'm totally with her on that one. A film adaptation is in the works. Can't wait!

2) The Tennis Partner, by Abraham Verghese. From the author of Cutting For Stone, a compelling, but tragic non fiction story. Very well written IMO.

3) The Sliver Star, by Jeanette Wells. Pretty impressive for her first stab at fiction. I was sold after reading an interesting profile in The New York Times Magazine.

4) Yonahlossee Riding School for Girls, by Anton DiScalafani. This debut novel about a rich girl's boarding school would have fit in nicely with my earlier summer reading post. Family secrets, lies and  unsavory and inappropriate sexual liaisons. Sound familiar?

Next up, The Interestings, by Meg Wolitzer & And The Mountains Echoed, by Kite Runner author Khaled Hosseini.

What's on your nightstand at the moment?

Summer reading

I'm sure you've all noticed by now that I love vintage magazine covers. Harper's Bazaar is my fave. This one caught my eye both because it covers summer reading, and -- more importantly -- the "lazybones diet." Of course this piqued my curiosity. I searched to no avail for the subject in the Harper's archives. Here's some stuff I did find about 1950s dieting.

Diet Rite cola was released in 1958 as a "dietetic" product. It was later introduced and marketed as a "healthful" beverage in 1962.

Averyl Hill writes a blog dedicated to vintage diets. Check it out. She is working on this e-book:

Retro-Housewife is an interesting blog that covers dieting by the decade.

According to a 2003 study by the woman's magazine Prima as reported in the dailymail, 1950s woman burned more than 1,000 calories a day performing their daily domestic duties. How you may ask?

• They spent 3 hours a day doing housework, an hour walking to and from town to shop -- the butcher's, the baker's, the green grocer's and other specialty shops -- an hour shopping itself and another hour making dinner.
• Many had to prepare lunch as their husbands came home to eat in the middle of the day (Ugh!).
• Family cars were scarce so they had to walk their kids to and from school.

Let's take a look at the numbers:

Three hours housework (150 cals. an hour): 450

One hour walking to shops (280 cals. an hour): 280

1 hour shopping (200 cals. an hour): 200

1 hour cooking (162 cals. an hour): 162

TOTAL: 1,092 

No TVs and other electronic devices to keep their children quiet and entertained meant they actually had to play with them.

1950s women also ate fewer calories -- 1,818 on average compared with 2,778 in 2003. The study attributes this partially to making meals from scratch versus buying prepared and junk food.

Other research found that 50s women enjoyed much more active sex lives because their time was not divided among career, childcare and leisure time outside the home. I wonder how many more calories they burned having more sex?

Question: Would you give up your career, dishwasher, washing machine, car, TV,  laptop, smart phone, your children's electronic devices, gym membership, socializing with friends, buying pre-made meals, eating out, dry cleaner, hired help, etc. in exchange for spending more quality time at home cooking, cleaning, playing with your children and having more sex with your husband -- all in an effort to stay slim?

My unequivocal answer is no.

Back on topic. There's no need to tax the old noggin this summer. You do have to deal with entertaining children, after all. I'm going to Boston and Nantucket in July. And, my nine-year-old is obsessed with the Kennedy's. With that general geographic area -- as well as law breaking, infidelity, entitlement, privilege and shear stupidity -- in mind, I offer these four titles for your summer reading pleasure. Trust me. They are all entertaining.

1. Once Upon a Secret: My Affair with President John F. Kennedy and its Aftermath by Mimi Alford: Extremely naive (aka clueless) young Mimi sets off for a summer internship in the Kennedy White House press office. Shortly thereafter, she is seduced by JFK and begins a long and torrid affair. Unable to keep her secret any longer, she spills the beans after decades of mental and emotional unrest. 
2. Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison by Piper Kerman: "Smithie" graduate Piper becomes involved with a drug-trafficking girlfriend. She gets busted for delivering cash in an international drug deal and is sentenced to 15 months in a federal women's correctional facility in Danbury, Connecticut. 
3. The Man in the Rockefeller Suit: The Astonishing Rise and Spectacular Fall of a Serial Impostor by Mark Seal: German born Christian K. Gerhartsreiter travels to America and pretends to be “Clark Rockefeller.” Clark (and many other false identities) gives new meaning to the word “ballsy.” The blue bloods he dupes from coast to coast give new meaning to the word “gullible.”  After 12 years of fraudulent escapades, he is arrested for kidnapping his own daughter.
4. Prep by Curtis Sittenfeld: Coming of Age story about teen girl from South Bend, Indiana who wins a scholarship to a prestigious Massachusetts prep school. The rest is history. 

Sittenfeld will be speaking at the Decatur Library July 1 at 7:15 pm.

Just in case you were wondering, the novel Dr. Zhivago was the number one best seller in 1958.

So, what's on your summer reading list?

Photo images: 1, 2, 3

So you think you're interesting?

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A few weeks ago my bibliophile friend Jill asked me to join her to hear Jessica Hagy talk about her new book How to Be Interesting (In 10 Simple Steps). We were psyched to go because Austin Kleon -- author of Steal Like an Artist -- endorsed her book. I posted about his book talk here. Jessica calls herself a cartoonist, and is referred to elsewhere as an illustrator, writer and humorist. Best known for her blog Indexed, she became an overnight success when her "How to be Interesting" post on Forbes.com went viral with over 1.4 million viewers. Hence the book.

According to Jessica, being interesting is the greatest personal asset in business and life in general. "It’s a core attribute that draws people toward each other, and greases the wheels of love and commerce and politics." Here's the rub: Although she didn't claim to be interesting, Jessica's delivery was flat at best. With the exception of a few quick-witted remarks, she wasn't engaging or compelling at all. So disappointing.

The funniest thing she said was "Bunkhead" when referring to Buckhead where she was staying. For those of you not familiar with Atlanta, Buckhead is "where old money lives and and new money parties" (according to the Urban Dictionary). It is also known for its high-end shopping malls. I loathe going to Buckhead in general, and only shop there when I'm absolutely desperate. Buckhead ladies are often referred to as "Buckhead Betties." Not by me. No way.

Jessica explained that she was out exploring (see Step 1 below) in someone's "Bunkhead" yard. Sounded interesting, but she didn't share what she discovered (see Step 2 below) even when asked. Maybe she was embracing her weirdness (see Step 4 below) and didn't want to admit it. Who knows?

Since then, I've read her book. I really like it, and love her blog.

Back to my original question. Do you think you're interesting? If so, great. If not, and you no longer want to be a bore, follow these 10 simple steps:

Step 1: Go exploring.  [Adventurous]
Step 2: Share what you discover.  [Generous]
Step 3: Do something. Anything. [Active]
Step 4: Embrace your weirdness.  [Strange]
Step 5: Have a cause.  [Caring]
Step 6: Minimize the swagger. [Humble]
Step 7: Give it a shot.  [Daring]
Step 8: Hop off the bandwagon. [Original]
Step 9: Grow a pair. [Brave]
Step 10: Ignore the scolds.  [Self-assured]

Check out Indexed for lots of clever charts, graphs and Venn diagrams. Love these!

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If you could change lives with someone you find interesting -- either living or dead -- for a day, who would it be and why?  I'd like to be Lena Dunham. Why? Because it would be fun to be 26 again. And, it would nice to be a critically acclaimed, award-winning filmmaker, actress and writer with a sweet book deal.

The language of flowers

As you know, I love flowers. With Valentine's Day right around the corner there's no better time to write about them. This is the first in a series of posts on the subject.

I just read The New York Times best selling novel The Language of Flowers. The novel's main character  -- aptly named Victoria -- is obsessed with flowers and their meanings so much so that she creates her own dictionary. It is included at the end of the book.

I've been fascinated with the meaning of flowers since I took a class many years ago given by floral poet Geraldine Laufer author of Tussie-Mussies: The Victorian Art of Expressing Yourself in the Language of Flowers. A tussie-mussie aka "talking bouquet" or "word poesy" is a circular nosegay whose fragrant herbs and flowers carry a message to the recipient. Geraldine signed my book "To Maureen with magnolia and mint!" Magnolia: sweetness, beauty and perseverance. Mint: warmth of feeling.

The Victorian language of flowers began with the publication of Le Language des Fleurs, written by Charlotte de Latour and printed in Paris in 1819. To create the book--which was a list of flowers and their meanings--de Latour gathered references to flower symbolism throughout poetry, ancient mythology and even medicine. The book was translated into most European languages, and was widely imitated (and plagiarized). 

I have several flower dictionaries. I like Geraldine's best because it's organized by flower, as well as sentiment. So if I wanted to send someone a sympathy gift I just look under sympathy, sorrow or remembrance. Rosemary, BTW, is an excellent choice. It is inexpensive, fragrant and can be planted in the garden for long-lasting memory.

Peonies -- preferably pink -- are my all-time favorite flowers. I have several plants in my garden and look forward to blooming season each year usually around Mother's Day. Unfortunately, the blooms last for only a few weeks.

What is its meaning you ask?

If you love peonies, you have high ideals and strongly held values. You are courageous enough to maintain your opinion even when it makes you stand out from the crowd. Since others admire you and find you inspirational - they might even be a little jealous or in awe of you - you are likely to achieve great things in life. [like this blog!]

--from The Secret Language of Flowers by Samantha Gray

Photo image Tracey Ayton 

From one of my favorite shelter mags Style At Home I just love how this white vase of pink peonies is juxtaposed with the zebra-covered book beneath it.

Hydrangea  -- the namesake of this blog -- means devotion, remembrance, boastfulness. 

What's your favorite flower? Did your wedding bouquet contain any sentimental flowers? 

Send me your faves in comments below, and I will reply with their meanings. Please specify color. A white rose signifies something completely different than say a yellow one.

I feel bad about my neck

Seriously, I do feel bad about my neck, as well as my 11's, marionette lines, saggy boobs and muffin top. Getting old sucks.

Last year I hosted my book club to discuss I Feel Bad About My Neck by Nora Ephron. I had already read the book several years before, but felt it was time for a refresher, especially after I saw this YouTube video: 

Light bulb moment: Wouldn’t it be fun to ask everyone to bring a scarf, discuss the book and then practice scarf tying? Yes, it was fun. And, several glasses of prosecco made it even more the merrier.

For those of you who haven’t read the book, it’s a witty commentary on women and aging. Nora doesn’t mince words. She cuts right to the chase. That’s what I love most about her. Examples:

• I feel bad about my neck.
• I’m sorry to report that I have a mustache.
• I would like to be in shape. Every time I get into shape, something breaks.
• I hate that I need reading glasses. 

One section of the book lists “What I wish I’d known.” Some that resonated with me:

• If the shoe doesn’t fit in the shoe store, it’s never going to fit. 

• The reason you’re waking up in the middle of the night is the second glass of wine. 


• Anything you think is wrong with your body at the age of thirty-five you will be nostalgic for at the age of forty-five.
• At the age of 55 you will get a saggy roll just above your waist even if you are painfully thin. This saggy roll … will be especially visible from the back and will force you to reevaluate half the clothes in your closet, especially the white shirts. 

Yikes! I’ve had this roll since after the birth of my first child. I hope the A-line continues to pop in and out of vogue.

So here’s what I wish I had known: Slathering your body with baby oil and using a foil-covered record album cover to reflect sun onto your face would accelerate the aging process exponentially and possibly cause skin cancer. Good news: Sunscreen has come a long way since I was a foolish adolescent. Bad news: The damage has already been done.

What do you wish you had known? 

Where's your favorite place to buy scarves? Boden for me, of course!

p.s. Along the same lines, Girls Lena Dunham recently signed a $3.7 million contract with Random House for her memoir Not That Kind of Girl: A Young Woman Tells You What She’s Learned. Can’t wait! Is Lena the "floating generation's" Nora?

How to raise self-reliant children

Would you allow your 9-year-old to ride public transit solo?

Flashback to 2008. Remember Lenore Skenazy who wrote an article in the New York Sun about letting her 9-year-old take the NYC subway by himself – and the public and media backlash that followed? Today, Skenazy writes the blog Free-Range kids (How to Raise Safe, Self-Reliant Children without Going Nuts with Worry). She also wrote a book under the same title Free Range Kids.

A friend recently turned me on to the blog, and I’m loving what she has to say. Skenazy contends that children will never grow up or encounter choice or gain independence if parents attempt to shield them from every possible danger or difficultly in their everyday lives. I agree.

Raising self-reliant kids is no easy task. I sure wish I had the magic formula to make it happen, but I do have a few go-to books and other resources to help guide me along the way.

My all-time favorite parenting book is Blessing of a Skinned Knee: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Self-Reliant Children by Wendy Mogel. A clinical psychologist and parenting expert, Mogel helps parents learn how to turn their children’s worst traits into their greatest attributes. The teachings are relevant to all faiths, so you certainly don’t have to be Jewish to reap its benefits.

I’ve also read her latest book Blessing of a B Minus: Using Jewish Teachings to Raise Resilient Teenagers. My copy is already dog-eared, and I’m sure it will sit on my bedside table soon.

The New York Times has an interesting parenting blog about kids at all ages and stages: Motherlode: Adventures in Parenting. A former NYC prosecutor, lead blogger KJ Dell’Antoinia has been writing about the personal, cultural and political aspects of family life for a decade. Read Lisa Belkin’s review of Blessing of a B Minus on Motherlode. Lisa now writes for the blog HuffPost Parents -- another good resource.

Back to my original question. Would you let your 9-year-old loose on the subway? I wouldn’t. Even though I rode public transit at that age – usually with friends or siblings – in Washington, DC. My answer might be different if I lived in a city with comprehensive public transit. 

I was a free-range kid as were most of my contemporaries. Not every kid on the team got a trophy. My parents were not at every game and every school event. Most kids I knew had some sort of paid job by age 11 -- babysitting, yard work, paper routes. There were no arranged play dates. If you wanted to play you went to the playground or walked down the street and knocked on someone's door. When and why did this all change?

Fact is, I don’t know many kids ages 10 and under, including my own, who can "work out" matters without a parent, teacher, coach or other adult at bay ready to swoop in and work it out for them. If this continues, what's gonna happen when our kids go to college. Wendy Mogel notes in Blessing of a B Minus that college deans refer to kids who have been overprotected as "teacups" and those who have been fried by over scheduling "crispies." 

If something doesn’t give, I’m scared that our kids won’t be able to cope when we finally do set them free. Are you?

Share your thoughts in comments.